After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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