oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
