I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
