Where is the hickey?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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