Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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