yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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