Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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