NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
