at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
