I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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