I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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