whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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