no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
