so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
