you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
