I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
