just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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