I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
