i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
