My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
