why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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