shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
