Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize