Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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