question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
