I have demons in me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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