Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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