True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
