Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
