Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
barbara walters just said penis...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
