I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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