Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
