girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You pole danced in your parka.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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