He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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