he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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