Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I see more hoeing in ur future
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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