it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize