rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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