Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
