i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
