he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
