You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
