The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
