GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
