She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
