great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need a beard to bite.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize