as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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