You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
