So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
