I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
