I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
