We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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