Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
