He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When are your genitals available?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
