I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
