I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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