so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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