I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
