Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
