dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I will pee on everything he values.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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