We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
