It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
