bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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