did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
