Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
